Why Do I Feel So Guilty?
Tears were welling up in my eyes. My heart was racing a mile a minute. The possibility of puking all over my friend Pat, felt very real to me. “I just feel so guilty. Like I am going to get in so much trouble…I shouldn’t have done that.”
Pat looked me straight in the eyes, and without a hint of pity said, “Guilt? Well, that’s the problem. I gave up Guilt a long time ago. I realized it didn’t work for me.”
My chin dropped to the floor. “You’ve let go of Guilt? You don’t feel it?”
“Nope! It’s a really heavy energy. Why beat myself up? If I know I made a mistake, I learn from it, I say sorry, and I do everything in my power to make up for it. Then I MOVE ON. I let go of the Guilt.”
Pat’s sage words have popped up quite frequently for me in the past few weeks.
Recently I said and did something that I have really questioned. I was in the moment and speaking authentically, but did I say too much?
Was it bad?
Was I bad?
Should I have responded differently?
Did I hurt the people involved?
GUILT-ridden would be a rather accurate description of my state of Being up until recently.
So I took action. I re-connected with the person involved and found peace with them. I journaled about everything I learned from this experience and saw how many amazing realizations came from all of it. I forgave myself for being human. I surrendered back into the Loving.
And…I still felt the Guilt at times.
My Self-Care suffered. My Spiritual Practice became less and less cultivated. My sleep was horrendous. I was in my head A LOT.
Then I remembered Pat’s Words:
I gave up Guilt a long time ago. I realized it didn’t work for me. Why beat myself up? If I know I made a mistake, I learn from it, I say sorry, and I do everything in my power to make up for it. Then I MOVE ON. I let go of the Guilt.”
I then realized that I was CHOOSING to hold onto the Guilt energy. My Ego loved that! If I was beating myself up and not taking care of myself, then I was definitely NOT stepping into my Calling, playing Bigger, and residing in my Loving.
The Ego’s Dream come TRUE! Why? Because when we are caught in the prison of Guilt, our Egos get to be in charge. They feel safe and in control when we are playing small, feeling stuck, and in a cycle of Self Loathing.
When I stepped back and observed this dynamic, I could finally see that I was playing the Victim here, CHOOSING to feel guilty, to re-live the scenario, to stay stuck. I was CHOOSING to distract myself from my amazing life, by focusing on this drama.
That is when I gave my Ego a hug and said, “Ego, I love you. You can live inside me and help me out when needed, but…
YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE ANYMORE!”
And with that, the Guilt released into the atmosphere, and my Heart and Soul are back in the Pilot Seats working with the Big Guy or Gal in the Sky to co-manifest the life of my dreams, align me with my deepest Calling, and keep me focused on my Truth, residing in my Loving.
Guilt? That doesn’t work for me anymore! I let Guilt go a LONG time ago…:)
xoxoC
Want to let go of any blocks that are holding YOU back from Co-Manifesting the Body and Life of your Dreams? Then email me at cora@sexysoulwellness.com for a FREE 30 minute Releasing your Blocks Breakthrough Session!
Pic from: http://www.geekphilosopher.com
Yay!!! Making the choice to let go of Guilt, and it’s dear friend Regret, was the BEST thing I have ever done for myself!
That’s not to say that I stopped listening to their initial whispers (and shouts); those act as a much needed compass to guide me along my journey, especially as someone who insists on defining right and wrong for myself.
However, everything after the initial discomfort is USELESS. It does nothing but keep you locked in the past.
Listen. Take Note. Adjust course. Move on.
That is the sequence that has been working well for me.
Thank you as always for sharing your beautiful journey with us Cora, you lovely being!
Xx
Jennifer
FOR SURE Jennifer!!
I love your reminder about REGRET also. No thanks!
Thank YOU for reading and responding…
Also, I love that you bring up the compass. I think we all have an internal compass that guides us. You brought me back home to that knowing.:)
I am so GRATEFUL for you!
Thank you for the reminder about choice!! And, for expressing how EASY the choice can be! Gotta love when you realize that TOO is a choice (the how easy or hard something is).
Here’s to choosing a guilt free Thanksgiving!
xoxo
YES! Choice is the Grand Empowerment Tool for me. What a gift!
Guilt-Free ROCKS!!!
I just had an image of a tag on a shirt or maybe a tattoo that reads “guilt-free”…lol
Looooove you!
“That doesn’t work for me anymore! I let (that) go a LONG time ago…”
I LOVE that! I’m going to start using that in a lot of areas in my life!
Worry? nah, That doesn’t work for me anymore! I let worry go a LONG time ago…
Lack? Psh! That doesn’t work for me anymore! I let go of lack a LONG time ago…
Wahooooo!
Thanks for an amazing post, Cora! xo
Exactly Allie!! YES YES YE!!!!!
I have the shivers when reading your response….it feels so good to De-toxify!!!
xo
C
Wow, did I need to read this right now! I’m the queen of guilt. It overtakes me at the holidays when I’m trying to please everyone and not hurt anyone’s feelings. Time to start letting go!
Absolutely!
The Truth Is…I can’t please everyone!!! And it is NOT my job!!
I love your honesty and wisdom Jaimie…what are your intentions for the holidays? For YOU?
C
I love it! it makes PERFECT SENSE! You can’t change the past but you CAN control the present! By feeling gurlity you are choosing to make yourself miserable and full of negative energy. Instead accept your “mistakes” and appeciate the new found wisdom you have just achieved…it’s time to keep living, learning and enjoy the world around you!
Exactly Carrie!!
I can CHOOSE how to relate to the past, present, and future. I choose forgiveness, love, and learning!!
You are so wise!!!
How did you get SO smart so young??
Miss you!
Cora
Guilt is highly over-rated.
YES! HIGHLY!!!